Tuesday, April 21, 2009

You : The Meaning of Love

The first time I saw you,
I saw the shine in your eyes.
It was captivating.

I felt like looking at it forever ,
or at least as many times as possible.
It was simply flabbergasting.

I was charmed by the radiant glow that it produces,
I was pretty sure that if the glow of the sun subsides,
I would never be lost in darkness with your eyes.

I am definitely poised that if you stand beside the moon at night,
the moon would unquestionably shun away.
Moon would be jealous of your eyes.


The first time I listen to you,
I heard music in the air.
I was spellbound,
I was enthrall
I was hypnotized.


I felt the wind ensemble tunes
I felt leaves on trees chiming melodies
I felt the falling rain forming jingles.


The first time , you appeared through the window of my heart;
I softly fell in love with you
I tenderly worshipped you
I passionately adored you.
I simply devoted my heart for you.

I learned the meaning of love
I learned the meaning of loving
I learned the meaning being in love
I learned the beauty of being loved.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I MISSED YOU

I stood by the window
looking at the stars
looking at the moon
looking at my reflection
I realised the glitters of the sun was dull
I saw the moon was dreary
I notice my reflection evading me

I was taken aback
I was perplexed
I was mystified

I queried why
I quized the reason
Then i realised
it was simply because my heart
MISSED YOU.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Who to blame?

It is always easy for us to put the blame on others, simply because we do not have the guts to admit our mistakes , error or misdoing. I think ,it is actually an act of cowardice. Admitting of our wrong doing do not kill us.

Scared that we might loose our loved ones or dear friends? Well.. ask ourself , is it worth for someone to be considered as loved ones or great best friend if they can't be supportive or accept our weaknesses? After all , we are humans, err the wrong is part and parcel of our daily endeavour. We will never learn of the truth or what is right if we do not know what is wrong.

Even if a girl, had slipped into act of vice and wakes out of it, we should not banish her from any right to repent herself . Even if a boy or man indulges into drugs and succumbs to come out of it and cleans himself, we got to support him. After all , do we never makes any wrong doings in our life? We all some how rather somewhere in the path of our life does some things that were not right, the differences are the degree of the act. Do not blame anyone for any misrailed in life. If we all have the feeling of accepting others .. then the act of trying to put the blame on other s will somehow in its own degree would eradicate itself.

Life and Fate - Opposite Attraction

When you are not expecting anything, life succumbs you to a corner of its ring and makes you to yearn for something. Thus, without realising you commit yourself to wanting it and then gently fate comes smiling in front of you and refutes what you desire. The chemistry of both life and fate, gives such a pain that you wonder why you deserve it.
Who are we going to blame?
Fate ... or Life ..or the Creator, for making your life a Yo Yo . You are made to meet someone, that you never expect to meet.... you try to avoid.... deep in you, the seed of love blossoms... you ask why? Fate laughs at you... you start to think that light of happiness might be shining upon you.. then out of nowhere comes a blow that knocks you to your knees. Then , you would realise that you were surged into the world of melancholic . A stroll into devastation that you start to question your existence...
Why... wasn't it enough for you to test me and cover me with unbearable pains all my life... Wasn't it enough for you to laugh at me ...suffering.. ?
God is where we look for a hand of compassion.. but if that hand itself is mocking you..where am I to go and reach out for sympathy?

Judgemental .... A syndrom in Us?

When we see a beautiful girl walks with a normal looking guy or vice versa ... we start to ask thousand and one question... we start to make assumptions, we try to justify, we make space to give conclusion... but then ,we never really realise that what we are trying to do is of no benefits to us or the people we are passing the judgement.
Why that we never have a frame of mind to understand that both man and woman or boy and girl can always be good friends, that understandS each other, share common things.
Why is that we need to always look at people from a negative perspective.
We got to ask ourself,would we be happy if people out there goes around and making judgement about us?
We got to ponder, if would we be happy iF people out there talks about us when we have no relation or whatever with them?
It is like throwing a ball to a wall... it comes back to us...
If positivity is what we endure ,
If positivity is what we endeavour,
Shower of positivity will always rain on us....

Deep in me, When is the question

Life is simply a funny cycle, just unable to grasp the actual truth about it. You think you almost had a grip about who you really are and what you really want, then comes a sudden emotional tsunami that succumbs you to an deserted island of confusion. You start to look telescopically into your life and realise, that in deep ,big vacuum still lies deep in the dungeon of your life . All that you want to taste and get the ultimate pleasure is still there, idle waiting to be shaken open . It tries to lurk out of the window of your mind and heart, but always stumbbles with blocks of jittery and unwillingness of the exterior self to expose the actual truth.

Funny!!!, why in the fisrt place your are given such a feeling and then force to subdue it to the lowest ebb of the heart.? It is funny , when this question arises, then it is simply justified with devils propagaton, satan's provocation, and evil desire. Well, what ever it is, why? why not....

Then, you start to explore all the potentials that is available. You want to fulfill the hidden agenda of the sub concious mind. In doing so, blocks and blocks of wall of obstacles stand by you, in fornt of you and faces you. Dredging you to a cubical space, dungeons you , sucking you away. Like feast to the eyes but not reacheacle to the eyes of reality.

Yearning, hoping and waiting becomes the reality. Am i going to complete my dramatic character in this world in pathetically devastating frustration.?

Waiting for answer..............­...

THEY FOUND ME - A struggle of a patient?

The feeling of being caught or spotted by Mr.Diab and Miss Highbp has always been the dreadful feeling that surges deeply in the inner recesses of my heart. Each and every tick of moment in time, my paramount mission was to ensure that i always keep a relevant distance and gap from them. It is basically to to escape from their deadly cluthches. Once you are under their domination, they will take over your body,pungently grasping away all your energy and vitality, slowly quicksanding you into a world of devastation that tallies up life into short eon. It would be a deadly ordeal of bodily torture, an anguish of self wreckage that culminates life. A total destruction, tribulation of heart and slavery of anemic soul. The ultimatum once they find us. Their range of captivity on us is of no boundaries,wether you are young or old, it do not matter to them. All they quest for is to make us their figutive and take control and rule of our life. They mission in expediting death upon us.

I have been running away from this dark force for a such a long time. Days and years of carefully crafted steps and lifestyle that i had endured, to pave me away safely from the brutal sight of Mr. Diab and Miss Highbp. thier names might masquarade kindness, sweetness,amicabilit­ies and benevolence, if you are not infected by them. Once they seize you up under their governance, you are doomed.

Every stride of things that i consume or do, would be towards avoiding being found by them. They are shapeless, tasteless and invisible. They hide in assorted edibles that we digest, just to ensure that we are being mesmerized and turn greedy in savouring them. Once we do that, doom would be the consequences. They will never let you off their opppression.

I do like the food that they assimilates their substances with, but i was always been extra careful. I ensure that whatever i gobbled up in fulfillin my appetite were relevantly never noticed by them. It is like camourflaging myself and entering their world without being caught or noticed. The accomplishment of frequent break in penetrating and successfully being traced by them made me feel very proud. It was like penetrating into the enemies camp without being discovered. I always thought i was slick and fast in evading from them. I was very proud of my capabilities of not stuck into their net. I grew highly confident that i will never be found by them or being caught under their dictatorship.

Suddenly, i begun to loose my energy. My body seems to be infected by extreme tiredness, hazy sight controlling my visionary sense, nauseaand giddiness attacks me without any warning,making me to stumble and clampped under the claws of the bed, leaving my to wonder , why?. I tried to figure out the sudden change in my body without realizing that they had found me. I was never really bothered to know. my mind was surging into other possibilites. I was too egoistic, thinking they never will or had ableto catch me.

Unforetunately, all the running came to halt and wasteful end. They had found me, caught me and listed me on their dreadful list of death. Now i realized it through the confirmation of my medicaql report.

" You are having diabetes and high blood pressure" the announcement by the doctor...
Proudly confirmed by Mr. Diab and Miss Highbp, " We have found you"

Mother.... A vacumm in me

Granduer annoucement in tv about mother's day, started to trigger me shed drops of tears from my eyes without me noticing. Out of sudden , i could feel strong turbulance in my heart. As though some kind of hurricane had hit it. My body was trembling, and i could feel a sudden weakness in me that shook me to my knees. It was then i realised that i had all this while dungeoned deep in me the love for my mother.

At that moment, I started to wobble in my mind, my ego of being like a pomegranate denying that i do not miss my mother started to crumble like soft dried leaves. Suddenly like the dominos, one by one nostalgic memories of me with my mother started to reveal itself from the cellar of my prisoned mind. Vivid pictures of smiles, laughter , sadness, joy, sorrow erupted in from the window of my eyes like a movie. I was unable to control my tears, it started to rush from drops to continous flow like a stream.

It made me realise that all this while a had been hiding a lage vacuum in me that yearns for the love of a mother. A mother that i had but i lost when i started to have different faith. I lost her then ... and i still loose her now...

I pray that one day God will shed light of maturity to accept things in life as it is...the destiny of life is arranged by HIM. I hope she would accept it.

Bless you mom.

Turbulance of the Heart

Sitting under a shady tree and looking at the brightly lighted night sky... all i could see were the shining stars ... twinkling happily as though programmed systematically. One after one, like the running light during festivity. I started to feel a sudden peace in my heart looking at a creation by the creator that never visioned to us, only told of his existence.
It then striked me to ask myself a simple query. Why am i feeling sad? Why am i feeling the ache of devastation in my heart? I looked deep into the sky, my mind started to ponder .... why can't i be like the stars, existing with a purpose and carries on striking with light to the life form in the universe without any worries apart from being there and doing what it meant to do.
Isnt that is why i am here, the way i am , the way i think, the way i do things, the way i talk , the way communicate... there should be an ardent reason for it. Why should i feel sad when someone looks at me and turns themselves as though i had leprosy. I am here not to judge anyone , i am not here to evaluate anyone. So do anyone out there. Each of us are here with a purpose, a mission that we are to accomplish. I am here to fulfill my duties and link as part of a jigsaw puzzle that complete the world. A jigsaw puzzle that the Creator is playing and trying to complete.
So why should i look at the differences that possessed by others. I should not be doing that, since we are all so special in our way. I should look at the similarities and understand the actual reason of me being in existence and others that makes the world a better place.
I am not to be bothered with what others think ...
I am more worried of what i am going to think about myself when i do not capitalised the reason for being here.
I am going to shower my perimeter with smiles and makes the aura around me positive to others and me in a way.

So..my small HEART. Do not worry. Shelve away the turbulance. Carve a small portion of love and sprinkle it around you. Dont worry if other hearts around you misjudge you. As always remember, Who are they to judge you?. Do they really know you.?
You know yourself better. Go on. Do what you are here to do.

WARM FOR THE HEART AND SOUL

The sun is blazing hot,till it rings at the door of my epidermis but then i still feel the cool , dry feeling in me. It is such a confusing nature of feeling that surges up and forth . I wonder why?
My concious mind keeps me at bay from exploring the sub concious needs. My rationale heart stand in between what i can't and what i want. Just a dillema that unwilling to unveil itself in satisfiying what i actually want.

So..then what i want.... ?

I simply want some warmth from a sincerely soul closely to my cold soul .
I simply want to hold someone close to by cold body .
I simply want to unite my cold body to a hot body and neutralise myself.

It is simply said then done
It is simply easy to imagine then fulfilling

I am waiting

A HANDFUL OF LOVE AND CLOUDS OF APPRECIATION

Millions of diamonds i can gather from the earth,
Thousand tons of gold i can excavate deep in the ground,
Hundreds of roses i can cultivate on the ground,
But i am simply unable to bring into being,
wonderful friends ,
superb friends,
exceptional friends,
Like those in my list.
You are always the special ones that are special gift that none of the treasures of the world could compensate.
Thank you... is all that i could utter now as i am unable to find any words that is noble to you.

Waited Hopes

When you open your eyes after a good night sleep, hoping for a wonderful day... al that you see is four dull coloured concrete walls caging you. It feels like every inch of the the wall laughing at you coz you simply unable to over power it. It seems like there are millions of eyes breaking out from the concrete cement lurking at you.... smiling and partying on your self being succumbed to a paralysis of time that eventually gets you all chained to the cubical space called home.... slowly a dark force of feeling moving towards you , penetrating deep, slowly grasping and drgging you towards the gate of loneliness. Making you feel devastated and demorsed, like being sucked into quicksand and suffocating to erupt a sense of feelin that unable to be explain. Only you know..you hate this moment, you hate this life, you start to wonder what i the real menaing that you are perceiving in this life.

Life a beautiful Journey

Life is a beautiful journey that gets you with various endeavours that portrays sweet and bitter memories. It seems to be a path that I'm sure people out there encounter the same as what i endure.

I used to ask , i used to wonder, i used to ponder

Why each of us are so different in the way we think, the way we speak, the things that we do, jobs that we indulge. Then while venturing deep into these thoughts, i made myself to realise that , you and I are like jigsaw puzzles, we complement each other and try to make the world that we live complete. While pondering this, i remembered what my grandfather used to tell me, " each of us are born with talents and gifts; and they are actually awarded to us with an ultimate intention, to give to the peope around us. If we keep these talents only for ourselves, then we have betrayed our actually purpose of being created.
Share and share, the world would be a nice place to dwell and would be the heaven that visualised by most.

FOR ALL MY FRIENDS

If i can catch all the stars on the sky....
i will make a starlight chain for you.
If i can catch all the clouds in the sky...
i will make cloudbed for you...
if i can catch all the birds flying in the sky....
i will make a bird orchestra for you...

all because you are such a beautiful and sweet person that i had met here on tagged.
all because you are special and unique by yourself.

i am glad and appreciative to be given
I am happy and lucky to be given
You as a friend and a person that i will carve in my dairy of life.

FOR YOU MY FRIEND

Friends are like flowers that makes a garden beautiful,
Friends are like sugar that sweetens a cup of coffee,
Friends are like sequins that makes a designers label glitter ,
Friends are like cakes that celebrates a birthday…

It completes a real meaning of friendship.
U my friend are
the flower
the sugar
the sequins
the cake
that makes my life full of a graced friend.

BEFORE AND NOW

Before………….
When I close my eyes, all I see is you.
When I close my eyes, nothing else appears except you.
I felt a joy, I felt ecstatic
I felt blissful, I felt rapturous
It was an euphoric feeling that I can’t resist to loose

Now………………
When I am awake, I only see you
When I m conscious, you are the only one that appears .
As though the pupils of my eyes had carved you
As though my visual lexicon only recognizes you.

I am happy, I am elated
I am on cloud nine, but then;
I am worried.

Of not be able to share in my life,
Of not be able to have you and only you.

WHEN YOU ASK

When you ask.
I cant ' t say No
I can't ignore

When you requst ,
I can't dissapoint you
i can't dishearten you.

As you are always,
As you are constantly,
As you are forever,

Showing to me
Expressing tenderness for me,
Showering affection to me.

So my darling friend.
Here it is for you....

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING...I WAS SURPRISED

I woke up this morning.. I was surprised

I woke up this morning
I thoguht i saw the sun smiling,
but it was actually your smile.

I woke up this morning
I thought i saw a beautiful black and wihte coloured flower
but it was actually your mesmerizing eyes.

I woke up this morning
I thought I saw red cherries coming near my lips
but it was actually your ravishing red lips

I woke up this morning
I thought i felt a warm sheet blanketing me
but i was actually your arms embracing me

I woke up this morning
Thinking it was going to be another sad day
but actually it turn out to be a superb day
as you knocked all the blues away
and made it a day
that i want to live in.

IF LOVE HAS REACHED YOU

IF LOVE HAS REACHED YOU.

If love has reached you heart,
Please call me.
If love has come to your heart,
Please remember me.

I will be here,
standing, waiting,
to hold your hands, close to my heart and,
let you hear, the music of my soul.

If love has reached your heart,
don't forget me
If love has come to your heart,
don't shy upon me.

I will be here,
eternally, yearning to show you,
Your love,
that had reached my heart,
that makes me feel full of care.
Blanketed by compassion,
sphered by affection.

If love has reached your heart,
always remember me, coz
It is mine.

If love has come to your heart,
spare me your smile,
hug me fast,
cuddle me at once,
give me the magic of your love,
in return.

LOVE In YOUR SMILE

LOVE IN YOUR SMILE

Your smile, evokes my heart,
with joy and mesmerization.
Your smile, induces my heart,
with charm and enchantment.
Your smile, fashions my heart,
with colours and grandeur.

Your smile is what i yearn,
Your smile is what i crave.
Nothing more , nothing less.
Just your smile, the garland of love.

Your smile is what i seek,
Your smile is what i search.
Nothing more,nothing less.
Just your smile, the vine of love.

The love in you, reflected by your smiles,
The love in you, replicated by your smiles.

I ask .
Nothing more, nothing less,
Just your smile and its beautiful love.

I HATE YOU

I Hate You

I never knew I hated you
I never knew I despise you
I never knew you disgust me
I never knew you repulse me.

All because:
You let me drown in tears
You let me suffocated in sorrow
You let me intoxicated in grief
You let me incarcerated in misery

Now :
I am dejected
I am discontented
I am forlorn
I am lost
I am desolated

Oh….Why?
Of all , you have to be with me.
Of all, you appear to me

Just please distance yourself from me
Just please remote yourself from me

Just let me be in peace
Just let taste the warm of love
Just let me radiate my life
Just let me emit the garland of sweetness

In my life
In my breath
In my existence

Please I beg
Please I plead
Please I beseech
Just do not come uninvitingly to me
Just do not come unsolicited to me
Just keep away


Not you LOVE , darling
But it is, SEPARATION
It is you: SEPARATION